Knowing is Half the Battle

By Craig Settimo
8-31-06

I’ve inhaled enough smoke to last me three generations yet I wont get up and leave. My back is contorted and I don’t think any massage parlors can get this knot out. My jeans are stained with Bloody Mary residue and who knows what else. I have no idea how long I’ve been here but judging by my pit stains I’d say it’s been a fair while. If you would ask me; I’d tell you I’m broke, yet I’m funneling nickels into this slot machine as I feel every pull will get me closer to helping the Rebels defeat the Dark Side.

None of this matters though I’ve still got that Red Head on my mind. She was into me like Mary Swanson was into Lloyd Christmas. I dig into my pocket and grab the last piece of change. I drop it in-press max bet-and watch my one line land a few Jawa’s. I just won five dollars and it’s time for me to walk away. I pull my cell phone out to check the time. By my math I’ve been playing the Star Wars slot for six hours and I just broke even.

I cash out my winnings and am handed a receipt for my money. Long gone are the days when the change would drop and give me some sort of semblance of being a winner. No now I have to grab my receipt, and take that to the cashier. There’s no fun in that. I like noise. I want people to know I’m a winner. That’s why I still make the noise of change falling into my winning’s pit, but the pit boss asked me to stop a few hours ago. So I guess I don’t do that anymore.

The cashier hands me my fresh five dollar bill and I should leave. The day hasn’t been tough and I should cut my losses. Of course this is Vegas so every exit means you have to walk back through the casino. I promise myself I wont bet and I make my way past the tables. My eyes are glued to the pyramid carpet and I refuse to look up.

Judging by the frat boy grunts I sense I’m near the craps table. I continue and the grunts have turned to groans signaling a change in the minimum bets and clientele. I hang a right and I’m almost out of here. Almost.

My eyes are fixated on the ground I come across a pair of legs that drive me insane. My feet stop moving and I gasp to take this all in. The legs are met by an equally amazing torso. I refuse to look at her face as I’d hate for that to ruin my fantasy. A breath engulfs my chest and I get the courage to look up. It’s the red head. She’s focused on the table and I contemplate joining her.

My back’s to the exit and I drop my money on the table. I retrieve my cards and see I’ve got 13. I need to focus but I glance at the red head. That doesn’t work. I’m clueless to the world and I wait for my turn. She has to sense me staring at her, but I don’t care. If I was 14 I’d describe her as hot. I’m almost 30 and I’d still describe her as hot. I shake her off and try to focus.

I glance at the dealer and tell him to hit me. Nothing happens. Hit me! The dealer doesn’t budge. The adrenaline builds and tap the table repeatedly and I demand another card. Hit me!

The Dealer opens his mouth. This should be good.

"Sir this isn’t blackjack, this is Texas Hold ‘Em and that bet doesn’t get you in the game. Furthermore you grabbed the lovely ladies cards and now the hand has been forfeited."

I take a moment to glance at the lady. I’d say a quick prayer in the hope that it’s not the red head, but let’s be honest we all know it will be. I look at her anyway and attempt a smile. She gives me nothing in return. The dealer’s not done with me and this is getting worse by the minute.

"I’m going to ask you to take your five dollars and exit the casino. If that’s a problem we can get security involved. And sir in the future I suggest paying attention to the table and rules. Like Gung Ho and the gang would remind you every Saturday morning, ‘Knowing is half the battle’."

I make it through the door and head towards my car. I glance back at the exit and see the red head looking at me. She wasn’t really looking at me. She wasn’t at the exit. My head plays games with me at times.

I walk past my car and head towards the back entrance. I’ve got five dollars burning a hole in my pocket and a red head to find.

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